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Well...HI!...I'm bored. I decided to write again. Serg called. He's coming over...so I'm waiting for him. We're probably just gonna talk & listen to music and maybe watch a movie. K! HE'S HERE! so bye!

well...I’m happy...and that's a good thing...I don't think I’ll get into the details just yet...I'm not ready to put what happened yesterday out into the open. You know what I mean. If u find out...you find out. If you don’t then...I’m sorry...but I’m not going to say anything. Let's just say that yesterday was like the best day of my life and that when I woke up this morning I asked myself if it was all just a dream. lol. I’m still wondering if it was a dream. I seriously don't know if it was just a dream. I really need to figure that out. lol. I will. I hope it wasn’t all a dream. I should check my cell phone and see if a phone call that I got yesterday is really there or if it was only in my dream. lol. I seriously don't know if it was or not. I’m so stupid. I should've written something down just to see that is was real. Oh well. I’ll figure it out later today. Um...I dunno if Ima go out today. I’m guessing maybe...but I got in trouble last night and I dunno if I can go out...so...if my friends are reading this...it's not that I don't wanna go out...it's just that I might not be able to go out. I probably will though...I always find ways outta things. well...yea...see...I got in trouble cause I got home "late" last night, but I only got home @ 8:30. I was tired and slept like 10 minutes after that. I got a phone call like @ 9 which woke me up...so...that’s the phone call I was mentioning a while back. it was a friend of mine asking me how much trouble I had gotten into...but to say the truth...when I got home...my mom didn’t talk to me...so I consider that not getting into trouble. She didn’t say anything about it this morning...so I guess everything is cool. she only got mad cause I said I was gonna be home in a certain amount of time but took 2x as much. But I guess she made no big deal about it. I guess she listened to what the problem was and why I couldn't get home any earlier and understood my dilemma. so...I guess...I probably will go out...but Ima make her happy and come home really early. lol...well...Ima go. Gotta talk with other people. k...until next time...which will probably be tomorrow. lol. or later this night.

Well...it's me again...no...I’m not drunk or dead in a gutter...Serg helped me realize that there r things in life to live for...like friends... I also remembered a conversation that i had w/ him where i was feeling like crap and he cheered me up...told me that i was a great person w/ a great personality. I guess that that’s what i needed to hear... he's such a great person himself. We have so much in common. We like the same stuff...we feel the same thing at the same time...it makes me so happy that i found a friend that knows exactly how i feel. He really understands me. It’s just so great. I know that I’m like 4 years younger den him....but I’ve been through basically the exact same things as he has. like Sergio see. said when i talked to him on the phone not too long ago...i remember i told him that me and serg are so alike and he said that i was probably thinking...."omg...you’re me as a girl and i'm you as a boy!!" it made me laugh...but now that i think of it...it's true...me and serg r so alike...it's kind of scary... serg is always telling me that one of his teachers (who's name i always forget) told him that in this lifetime...we all have 5 life long friends...i just hope that serg is one of those life long friends...cause i don't believe i will ever meet anyone that i have so much in common w/. to tell you the truth serg is the only person who actually understand why i am the way i am and what made me this way...cause he's the same...i really hope that everything in our lives work out well and that we stay friends for a very long...i don’t know what I’d do w/o serg...so serg...if you’re reading this...this is what i truly feel about our friendship...i really don't want out friendship to ever end...cause you know that we are so alike and that we understand each other...i don’t know if I’ll ever be able to find a friend like you. i know...i'm just repeating myself over and over again...but it's only to make a point... well...i'm off to make tamales...lol...but i really am...merry christmas if i don't get to write in here tomorrow.

So...I'm here today...bored. Being away from school is good, but being away from friends...it's depressing. well...to all those who are close to me and even if you're not...I miss you all. I'm gonna end up killing myself. Vacation is too depressing. I need a friend to get kicked outta their house and to come live with me. lol. well...did I mention I gotta hair cut...if I did mention it, then nvm, but it's a lil shorter than my shoulder. Y'know...I really miss everyone. I wanna talk to people, but they either don't come online, or I don't wanna bug them on the phone. Most people are like me, they just don't like talking on the phone. I mean, it's hard to express yourself on the phone...and if you call thei cells, it'll waste their minutes and yours, cause there are no free minutes on holidays or weekdays. Doesn't that suck? So the only way left is online. Some people even come on and have have their away messages for hours, so you can't talk to them. lol. Yeah, but the love thing is so confusing. Y'know, it's weird. This whole high school thing. There are those kind of people are like "I like you, of course I'll go out with you." and then there's the people that are like "I like you, but I can't be with you." It just makes me think, if you really like ap erson, why can't you go out with them. There's no reasonable answer. If your parents are the ones that you're scared of, believe me, you shouldn't be scared of them. Just tell them, they'll understand. All they want is for you to be happy. So if you tell them that there is a person you like and that you wanna go out with them, they'll probably approve of it. If you're parents are really messed up  (and sorry for saying this) but if they don't approve for the stupidest reason, then your parents are seriously fucked up. What parent doesn't want the best for their child? But i may be saying all this, but I've never told my parents about the people I like, or the people I've gone out with. I'm not comfortable with talking to them about that kind of stuff. Y'know, it's just uncomfortable. My mom has told me that I can go out and she will let me and she wants me to talk to her about these things, but it just makes it even more uncomfortable cause I have a feeling that if I tell them something, they'll be asking me about it all the time. I'm not that comfortable talking to friends about it...yet alone parents.

What would a world be like without parents? I mean, what would it be like if you were born and then yoru parents left you and everyone had to grow up alone...without parents. I knwo it'd probably be hard in teh the first few years of life, butI think we'd all manaage without knowing who our real parents were. It may sound like I want to do away with parents, but I'm just thinkigna bout how it'd be, so don't take me wrong, I do want parents to be around. I was just wondering. lol.

Well, 2 days until xmas. This is boring. I'm not even gonna get present for xmas. I mean, this computer is kinda for xmas. My mom got it for me on black firday, but it counts as an xmas present. Then, there are the presents friends gave me, but they had me open them the day they gave them to me, so that messed up the whole concept of opening your presents on xmas. So, basically, I did get present, but the joy of opening them on the actual day of xmas is gone cause there's nothing left to open. It's all open. Well...I think my brother might not get any for xmas either. We got him alot, but he peaks, so everyone he peaked into, we took away. You can totally tell how he peaked into them. In one of them, there was a hole in the wrapping peper. In the other, it was untaped. He shook it and knew. That's why I had told him not to touch anything, but there you go. It's the first thing he decide to do. He goes straight to the presents and shaked them all. He's such a weird boy. Yup. Well, people, if you guys wanna do something, call my cell or my house, and maybe we'll get together sometime. But don't expect me to go out, or don't even expect me to be available. I'll probably be drunk or dead in a gutter somewhere.